Do you ever "feel like" you say things, you repeat yourself, you discipline, you encourage, you hang in there for the 20th time (200th sometimes), you even resort to an idle threat or two and yet no response, no change in behavior, no ANYTHING seems to happen in your children's behavior? Well, if so I am right there with you on many occasions. Tuesday morning was one of those times for me. It looked something like this...
It was a typical morning of school for the kids. We were getting ready to do our music time and my boys were squirrely. So we did some "active" singing for awhile...it involved some dancing and jumping and was really lots of fun. Only this time, it didn't help to get some of the antsy-ness out, rather it produced even more. They were being just plain goofy and I was ready for them to be serious. Well, at least semi-serious. I asked them repeatedly to settle down, sing with "right" voices, sing with their tongues in their mouths, sing with their mouths open, settle down, stop making those weird sounds, sing the "right way, be an "example" to the girls, settle down, sit still...are you getting the picture? They were not responding and I was getting VERY frustrated. I snapped. I growled a little and headed for my bedroom. I knew it was in the best interest of ALL of us that I have a time out, so that I would not just "run" at the mouth.
I sat next to my bed. I am telling you I had "had it"...whatever that really means. I lamented. I cried. I prayed. When I was calm again, I headed back out to "talk" to my boys. But to my surprise Drew met me at the door. He handed me a piece of paper. It read...

I love you mom. I am so sorry. Will you forgive me.
What else did I need to say? Nothing right. What else could you want? Although I have to be honest I did have ONE more thing I had to ask. Boys do you know why mommy went into her room?
Drew and Sam in unison: "Oh yeah...we knew why."
Drew then followed up with: "You just didn't want to lose it."
How right they were. And how encouraging it was to see them, on their own, make it right. It is moments like these that can bring such hope to this sometimes weary mom.
Thank you Lord Jesus for your presence in our lives. Thank you for how you are working in all of our hearts. Thank you for loving us so very much, flaws and all. We love you!