A Time of "Running Aground" Again

If you are familiar with the account of Paul's shipwreck in Acts 27:1-28:10 then you might already have a context for what this post will be about. If not, do not worry, it will (I hope!) make sense as you read!

No, we have not been in a shipwreck, a car wreck or really ANY sort of "wreck" at this time. However, we are experiencing another time of medical trials and testing. A time, as Beth Moore puts it, of "running aground" on the island of God's will.

A few weeks ago, I had an ultrasound for pain I have been having under my ribs on the right side. My doctor thought it was probably my gall bladder and we still think this may be the cause for this pain. During the ultrasound, I also had them look at my bladder because of having an abnormal history of little fluid filled pockets (ureteroceles). After reviewing the ultrasound report, my doctor called back to say that my gall bladder and kidneys looked good, but that they had found a "solid mass with blood flow" on my bladder. This terminology was different than any I had heard before, except for when I had a pelvic MRI 18 months ago that showed a "smooth muscle mass" on my bladder.

I knew when my family doctor called with the report, this was different than the "fluid filled pockets" that had been discovered in past ultrasounds. She suggested I see an urologist for further consult on this. Thankfully, when all of this happened 18 months ago, a professor on campus gave our family the name of his urologist whom I had seen one time that fall. It was SO nice to have a personal referral from a trusted source, in a city this large! As I hung up that day with my doctor, I had a flood of emotion. I did not feel afraid, but overwhelmingly TIRED. Tired of "medical stuff". Tired at the thought of more testing. Tired of the crazy schedule of Life that would be less crazy without all of this "medical stuff". Tired of appointments. Tired of referrals. Tired at the thought of it being me. TIRED. SAD. TIRED. I poured my heart our to the Lord about all of this. I felt better, still tired, but peaceful as well.

God is so good.

I then went to run and do my bible study. That day was titled "A Painful Deliverance". It was a study on Paul's account of the shipwreck found in Acts 27:1-28:10. It was no coincidence. And it ministered to my heart immensely. If you never have, go and read the account! Before the ship ever set sail, Paul warned them in Acts 27:10, "Men I can see that our voyage is going to be disastrous and bring great loss to our ship and cargo and our own lives also." The centerion did not listen to Paul and a great "northeaster" storm came up. Verse 20 says, "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging we gave up all hope of being saved." So at this point in the account, they are exhausted and without hope. But then God sent an angel who told Paul "Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Ceasar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you." and then Paul told the men (276 of them), "So keep your courage men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as He told me. Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island."

Beth Moore writes, "Paul chose faith. Everything he could see and feel screamed death and disaster, but Paul's greatest reality was what he could not see." I choose faith. Whatever God wants to do with my life, I am His for the taking! I wouldn't choose any of the medical trials that have come our way, but I am so thankful to know God and know that He is not surprised by any of it. And He has the final destination already chosen. I cannot tell you with words what PEACE and HOPE and JOY this truth brings to my soul.

I met with the urologist 2 weeks ago. He decided to do a cystoscopy in his office that day, because he too thought the "solid mass with blood flow" was different. And yes, it was. He was able to see the ureterocele and also two "masses" or "growths" that sit on top of my bladder. He said that I did not have bladder cancer, because they are not in the bladder or a part of the bladder lining. He said he was unsure as to what these were. His words exactly, "I don't think it's anything scary, but it is very unusual." My words to him, "Dr, even if it is scary, I am okay. Really, I am okay." He replied, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." To which I said, "Exactly."

That, my friends, is what faith in Jesus Christ does in my life. Faith in Jesus brings peace in the midst of trials. Faith in Jesus brings peace in the face of "scary". Faith in Jesus brings calm in the midst of the storm, because I KNOW that HE KNOWS the final destination. Faith in Jesus brings HOPE that even in death there is LIFE. Faith in Jesus brings comfort that I long for each of you to experience. There is NOTHING like KNOWING that the God of the Universe, the One who spoke all things into existence has my back. Literally.

I had an IVP yesterday. This is an X-ray that looks at your bladder and kidneys. They use contrast to get a good look at everything. I have had contrast in the past, and became hot and tingly everywhere (maybe a little itchy?). Because of this, I was nervous to have this test done. If you know me well, you know I have many allergies to drugs. So I asked may of you to pray, and you know what? I would have had to talk myself in to feeling warm. I didn't even feel the contrast go in...and believe me I was involuntarily trying!! =) Thank you for praying! I believe this to be a miraculous answer to prayer, because all it takes to behold a miracle is seeing God do something only He can do! And I think only He could do that!

I meet with my doctor in May and we will discuss what next?! The test that I did yesterday was simply to show the function/structure of my kidneys and bladder, which should help my urologist have a better overall picture. He mentioned surgery, because he would hate to in 10 years say, "If only we had known". That being said, I think in the not to distant future I will be having surgery to look at or remove these 2 "highly unusual" growths on my bladder. I will keep you posted! And I would appreciate any prayers!

I want to leave with an words of Beth Moore on "A Painful Deliverance"...
"God promised to deliver them, Acts 27:26 'Nevertheless, we mist run aground.' Deliverance does not mean ease. It may be simple and painless, or, God's deliverance in your life may be one of the most excruciating things you ever experience. God has 'delivered' me from my childhood trauma, but that deliverance was extremely painful. Difficulty does not necessarily mean disaster. Heavy winds and raging seas don't always mean you are on the wrong course. It may mean that you are right on target. Believer, celebrate the fact that you can sometimes 'run aground' on the island of God's will for your life! Perhaps he couldn't get you to your destination any other way, and like Paul, you may run aground for the sake of the crew on board with you!"

God is Faithful. God is always Faithful.

"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving towards all he has made." Psalm 145:13
Blessed be the name of the Lord!