Elohim

Right now I am reading through a book and doing a bible study along with it called, "Learning to Embrace Life's Disappointments As Silver Refined" by Kay Arthur  It is a wonderfully timely study for what I am sure seem obvious reasons.  Our life has been filled with some huge disappointments.

Here is a brief description, in Kay's words, about the heart of the book, " 'In the world you will have tribulation...' John 16:33.  He warned us.  We will encounter trouble, He said.  There will be disappointments; things will be hard. 'But take courage; I have overcome the world.' Christianity doesn't exempt us from pain, from disappointments, from the hardships of this life.  Nor does it demand that we deny or hide our pain or our disappointments.  But it does give us One who promises a purpose, and end, and a benefit in it all. Because we are His and He is ours, we can take courage.  We must take courage. But how? you ask.  That beloved is what this book is all about -to help you with the how...and to give you a glimpse of the why..."

It has been encouraging and helpful and timely.  I am walking through this study with my friend Summer who has also faced huge disappointment in the loss of her precious Kelsie last fall.  There are many tears as we talk and pray and encourage each other to trust Jesus.

And friends, I have to say that I wrestled some reading through this weeks lesson, the title of the chapter being "God's Training in Disguise".  The wrestling came with reading these words..."I wouldn't trade this for anything.  Can you and I always say that about our disappointments?"

And at first glance...NO.  I wouldn't choose to suffer this way.  To watch my child fight for his life.  I WOULD trade it.  I know I would!  Even though I trust the Lord and praise His name because of who He is and because He is worthy no matter what my circumstances are...I would trade his sickness.  

I would.

And just like the Lord, He leads me to the answer of my wrestling...

As this summer, I am also doing a bible study with my boys and their friend this summer called "God What's Your Name" by Kay Arthur and Janna Arndt.  And this Friday we study Elohim found in Genesis 1:1. Elohim is the word for God as Creator.  "El", means mighty or strong.  It is the word we use to refer to Almighty God.  The "im" ending tells us it is plural.  And by looking at different verses (Gen 1:2, John 1:1, John 1:2, John 1:14, Heb 1:2, Col 1:16) we saw that in the beginning Elohim-God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit-each had a part in Creation.

Then we looked at whose image we were created in.  And Genesis 1:26, 27  tells us we were created in the image of God.  And then Genesis 1:31 tells us it was very good.  In summary Kay writes, "He looked at all He had created and according to Him, everything He made, including you, was very good.

And then we turned to Exodus 4:10-11..."Then Moses said to the Lord, 'Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue. The Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf or seeing or blind? Is it not I the Lord?"

Friends, it is obvious that Daniel's precious body was made by Our Creator with pulmonary hypertension.

So when we finally came to John 9:1-3,  I could not stop the tears from falling as I read these verses aloud to the boys, "As Jesus passed by, He saw a man blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, 'Rabbi, who sinned this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?' Jesus answered, 'It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him."

Oh Friends.

I will not pretend to understand the ways of the Lord.  But I know that God has a purpose for everything that He does. And I know that God does not make mistakes.  God our creator makes us exactly the way that He wants us to be and sees it as very good.

The doctors have been unable to find a reason why, a cause so to say for Daniel having pulmonary hypertension.  They have determined it to idiopathic (meaning they do not know why) primary (not caused by anything else) pulmonary hypertension.  This is the way that Daniel was made.

My Conclusion? In light of John 9:1-3 and of my savior Jesus saying in the garden of Gethsemane "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me yet not My will, but yours be done, " (Luke 22:42) I can say that I would not trade "it".  Only because then it would be my way, my will, instead of the Lord's.

This does not mean that I am not brokenhearted, I have never hidden or denied that being the case.  And this does not mean that I will stop asking for Daniel to be healed.  Or hoping that they find a cure for this disease.  But whatever the Lord decides, I am at peace with my Elohim.  I want what He wants for my life.  I want what He wants for my children.  And he is Faithful and True.  And I trust Him.

I trust that he is able and will follow through on His promise to cause "all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose"  (Romans 8:28). And as Kay states, "God doesn't say the the situation is good, but He does promise that because He's your God and you're His child, he will bring good from it."  And later she writes,  "If this trial were not for your benefit and His glory, He would never have allowed it to seep through His fingers of love into your life."

Mercy Me has a song that came on tonight as I was running, one I have sang many times.  It is what made my feet turn around and head home to type out what has been happening in my heart this week.  And still today, with all that has happened, with all that still might...I can sing to the Lord with all my soul "Bring the Rain".

"Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, WHO WAS, WHO IS, AND WHO IS TO COME" (Rev.4:8)

"These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."  John 16:33

I would not choose this road of suffering.  But I would also not want to be anywhere but the center of God's will for my life.  And so the "it" that I would not trade, is God's sovereign will for my life.  And for Daniel's.   And for the life of each one of my kids.

Selah