And Drew and Sam are the runners! I have been getting VERY frustrated with my oldest boys lately at the way they have been discouraging each other. If there is anything that this mama desires, its that our home would be a place where people are loved, encouraged and built up according to their needs!! Words of encouragement are so important to me. So it really frustrates and hurts my heart to see my children do this to one another. I tell them all the time that they have the best friends they will ever have right here in our home!! And they REALLY do love each other!
It just seems like lately Drew and Sam have gotten into the habit of pointing out each others weaknesses...Or have been less that nice with words spoken...or have had a hard time sharing...or have been critical of something the other has done...etc. etc. etc. Now I know that part of this is being brothers and sisters, BUT I want to help my kids learn the importance and impact of thier words and actions. I tell them that they can always go back and make it right and be forgiven, but once the words are out they can't ever be taken back...the ugliness of them is there. Restoration is totally possible...but that doesn't change that the words still hurt. In the words of Steve Green "Words are very powerful, they can either encourage others with things like "good job, your gonna make it, keep tryin'" or they can tear others down". (A little side note: Lizzy is LOVING "Hide em' in Your Heart" by Steve Green right now...so we watch it about 3 times a day...if you have little ones I highly recommend these CD's and DVD's...great way to help them hide these truths in their hearts).
So anyway, my boys know this, we talk about it, I encourage them, I discipline them, I have them write notes to each other, I take toys away, I feel like I do all I can think of. Well today, Brent and I decided to make encouraging, genuinely encouraging one another a RACE. We have a little sticker chart up and the first person "caught" 25 times genuinely (Brent and I determine this) encouraging someone gets to go to Toys R Us and pick out something they would like (within reason obviously...but cost of things doesn't really enter into what they choose...so far the amount of something hasn't been what my kids think about). So we'll let you know the results...and if the LONG TERM results that I so desire show up. I am hoping that the time it takes to do this will help them form a new habit of encouraging their brothers and sisters and others...we'll see. We are going to bathe it in prayer and hope it is something that helps my boys to encourage one another and form a life long habit of encouraging others too!!!
Oh! And as long as both of them REALLY work at it...we plan to reward them both...they just don't know this yet!!
****This is making me think about how I can be more intentional about encouraging my husband! Its not just what I say to my kids, but what I do...I need to be an example of an "encourager". Maybe I should put up a chart for myself too!!****
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thes. 5:11
"Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
4 comments:
Oh, a race! I always LOVE races!! :-)
I too know how my heart aches for my kids to love each other, encourage each other, and be there to always stick up for one another! It is the prayer of MY heart as well for our family.
I hope that this "race" is an encouragement for your WHOLE family and look forward to hearing all about it as the "race" begins!
You are a great Mommy, Jaci! Hangith though in there, my friend!
Jaci, I will pray specifically for your boys as they learn to encourage one another! And I agree with your final comments, there's nothing like pointing out sin in our kiddos lives that helps us see it in our own heart! How MANY times a day do I say to Julianna, "you must learn to listen and obey quickly". And how many times a day do I need to hear the Lord say, 'Laura, you must learn to listen to my voice and obey'!!!!
Oh, Jaci...I'm right there with you - thanks for the encouragement! It has been a "rough" week over here with lots of disappointments in parenting...which for me, can SO quickly turn into self-condemnation for my "failed" role as MOM!
I know I just need to pick myself up, dust off my britches, and keep on keepin' on! This child-training stuff is HARD work!!! Thanks again for your creative encouragement...I'm praying that YOU will be encouraged, too!
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Hi Jackson's,
Thanks for sharing your trials with us along with the joys-we often feel like the world should only see the good but many of us learn from the mistakes and growth of others. Grandma is excited to see the progress when she comes in June so work hard Drew and Sam at
encouraging one another as if doing it for the Lord. Love, Grandma
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